President Bush "We Need More Troops".

President Bush has yet again made it known that we are in for another troop surge before his term in office is finished this November. Since our military force has been stretched so thin, other avenues of defense were ultimately pursued. Several years in the making, this top-secret project is set to launch in the up-coming months when road-side attacks are thought to be at their peak.

"I feel the best way to counter-act terrorism both in Iraq and at home is with the use of these stealified military pets." says the president regarding the matter. "These young soldiers bravely give their life, their pellets, and their freedom in order to make sure that America can become even more America-y. You will see the full effect of this once you get your Monopoly money...I, I mean stimulus check starting this May.".

Rightfully named H.A.R.E. (which stands for "Has Ability to Reach Enemies"), this small creature's sole job is to secure areas that are deemed hazardous or volatile. With two fully functioning tanks on its back, the H.A.R.E. is able to blast out hidden road side bombs that are undetectable to the human eye.

Remarkable indeed.
















The H.A.R.E., shown in preliminary testing in northern Alaska.